Chocolate Ganache Pie

Short Notes on Excess turned 27 this month, so of course, a pie was in order.  Not only because dear Excess was turning a year older, but also because he risked life and limb in the wilds of Tierra del Fuego this past spring to procure for me TWO PENGUIN FEATHERS, which he then carried in a ziplock bag in his backpack for the remainder of  his six-month South American adventure with Billie J. Pilgrim, an epic trek which also involved their engagement on a bench somewhere in a small town in Argentina (Brief pause for adorableness:  Awwwwww!). 

Needless to say, there was much to celebrate, and I felt Excess deserved a most excessive pie for his birthday– something tailored.  Something he wouldn’t have to share with anyone else if he didn’t want to.

Something that said, Thanks for the penguin feathers, dude.

Since Excess is a chocoholic of the highest order (we’re talking about a man who never goes a day without, whose couch is habitually strewn with Hershey bar wrappers), I decided to make a pie that would test his endurance. I envisioned a buttery chocolate crust filled entirely with chocolate ganache and topped with chocolate whipped cream.  The question I wanted to answer with such a pie was two-fold:

1. Exactly how much chocolate could I jam into an 8″ pie?

2. And, would Excess love it, or crap out half-way through his slice? 

I couldn’t think of a single person who loves chocolate enough to survive a slice of a pie as rich as the one I planned to make, but if anyone could, I was sure it was Excess.  But no matter the hyperbole of the culinary experiment, this is Piesthetics, people!  So of course I wanted to make Excess’s pie beautiful, too…even if I really, really wanted to see if it would send him into a premature food coma…or, you know, diabetic shock…before he finished his slice. 

I started by making a chocolate shortbread crust by substituting Dutch cocoa powder for a third of the flour in my standard shortbread recipe.  The cool thing about shortbread crusts, in my opinion–and the reason I chose one for this pie– is that you don’t have to screw with pie weights, etc., in order to blind bake them.  You just cut together a shortbread recipe and then press it into the bottom of a pie plate, working from the center to the edges, and then up the sides about an inch.  Then prick it all over with a fork, and Viola! ready for the oven.  Shortbread crusts don’t move around or slump toward the middle the way a normal pastry sometimes does when you try to blind bake it, and I find them to be sturdier.  Perfect for a filling as dense as the one I was planning…

Chocolate Shortbread Crust*

• 1 c. flour
• 1/2 c. cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 sticks (12 Tbl.) butter
• 1/4 tsp. salt

Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes, or till the crust looks dry.  Cool completely (like, over night) before filling.  *Now, I should mention that this is for an 8″ pie.  Normally, I would use a much larger pan and a whole shortbread recipe (this one is cut down by about a quarter), but this birthday pie business is about personal-pan pies, as it were, because birthdays are about presents, cake (and pie!), and NOT SHARING.   

Total Chocolate Quotient at this point: 1/2 c., or 4 oz.

I kinda-sorta-not really followed a recipe for a Belgian Chocolate Ganache Tart for the filling, and, what the hell!, tossed in way more chocolate than necessary.  It called for 8 ounces.  I estimate I used about 12.  Standard ganache procedure, people:  bring the cream and sugar (and, in this case, coffee) to an almost-boil and then pour over chopped chocolate in a large mixing bowl.  Stir with a spoon or whisk in a figure-eight till all chocolate melts, then beat in the eggs and egg yolks one at a time till mixture is smooth and incorporated.  

Chocolate Ganache Filling

• 12 oz. bittersweet chocolate (I recommend finding something 65% cocoa or greater)
• 1 c. heavy cream
• 1 Tbl. strong prepared coffee
• 1/3 c. confectioner’s sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 2 large egg yolks

I beat another egg yolk with some water to make an egg wash and brushed it over the cooled shortbread crust, and then I poured the ganache into the crust and popped it into a 375 oven till it was soft-set (about 40 minutes).  I cooled the pie on a wire rack afterward for about an hour, till I could handle it without mitts, and then put it into the fridge to chill and set.  

Chocolate Quotient, crust + filling:  16 oz.

About 30 minutes before it was time to serve, I garnished what had turned into the HEAVIEST PIE EVER, SERIOUSLY YOU COULD HURT SOMEONE WITH THIS THING, JUST WHIP IT AT THEM LIKE A FRISBEE.  I originally thought I would do a whipped cream topping with a dusting of grated chocolate, and had envisioned something light brown–just a hint of chocolate.  And then I started beating the cream that was left with Dutch cocoa powder, and as it got thicker and darker, I wondered exactly how much chocolate I could get in it… 

Turns out, a lot.  Plus some butter.  Also powdered sugar. 

The result was richer than whipped cream, but lighter than a buttercream, and packed with chocolate–nearly a cup of it–plus chocolate shavings on top. The finished product is this truly alarming Chocolate Ganache Pie–in which Excess mired himself like a sabertooth cat in the Labrea tar pits– comprised almost entirely of chocolate, heavy cream, egg yolks, and butter, with a nominal amount of  powdered sugar and flour. 

Final Chocolate Quotient:  24 oz.

Final Excess v. Pie Verdict:  Excess trumps everyone, goes in for seconds, steals people’s left over bites that they just couldn’t finish, grins maniacally.  And then falls asleep on the couch:

 Piesthetics: Poor / Okay / Decent / Good / Very Good / Excellent   This pie sliced up well, maintained its shape, and presented nicely.  But it was really, really rich.

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